Until the age of 21, I was living in a small town 20 minutes away from Paris. I didn’t truly like the town, neither did I like Paris. I tried to find comfort in my room with its 4 purple painted walls (covered in boybands’ posters most of the time), and it was okay. But just okay. —
I finally moved to London and shared a tiny room with a friend, until we got a bigger room. Then I became an Aupair in a huge house. Finally, I had a few different rooms on my own, still in shared houses with 10 other people. Today I am living in a nice flat with a lady that I consider my friend, and her 6 year old daughter. After all this time, I never truly had my own « home. »
So, jumping from places to places, from one city
to another, with different people each time, how
do I even manage to feel home ? What does
« home » even mean ?
– Where is Home ? –
– Where is Home when you need to feel Home ? –
– A House is Not at Home –
First thing first, whether you like the house/flat you are living in, remember one thing : A house is not a home. Feeling home has (almost) nothing to do with the actual house you are staying at. No matter the size, the decoration, no matter what you own, you can (or not) feel a sense of home where you stay.
Of course, maybe your actual house is what you call home, and coming home after a long day is all you need. But if it is not the case, don’t worry. We will find you a home. A real “home”. You will find it.
I believe there is a feeling of home when coming back to your current place, just because you know it is where you are safe right now. Where you have a roof, a bed, food, and anything to make you feel comfortable. A bathroom to take a hot shower, pillows and bedsheets to snuggle in.
Even your laptop or a book to transport you to another dimension. In other words, all your belongings and everything you own that you love are here to (try to) make you feel kind of home. Some people don’t even have that option.
But sometimes, it is not about what you have, but how you feel. No matter how comfy or luxurious in your own words your “home” might be, you actually may still feel like something is missing, and you still don’t feel “home”.
– When Traveling is Part Of The Game –
– What About People ? –
– And That’s When I Realized Where Home Is –
After being broken into million pieces, and after going through hell, I eventually came back from the dead. Came back where ? To me. Myself. I was home. And I always was. Whether I was in my original country or city, or in a tiny room away from my parents or best friends.
Whether I was an Aupair in a big beautiful house that didn’t feel home at all, the only “thing” that was always and forever here with me, was me ! I learnt to appreciate my own company, I learnt to become my own best friend. Because who is going to cheer you up at 4 am when you can’t stop crying ? Yourself, eventually.
I learnt to listen to myself, my needs, my desires, my dreams, and my goals. And while doing my best to make myself happy and proud, I realized no matter where I was, I was home. Because I was with myself all along the way. Whether I was lost in a street at night in a country I didn’t know at all (yes, it happened to me when I traveled to Scotland once !), or surrounded by people I don’t know. Or even in a room I hate, well, I was still here for myself.
– So Many Different Homes –
Yes, I would still say “I am going home this weekend” if I ever go back to my parents, or I will probably keep saying “I am Home” if I ever love someone that much. I will always say “I am going straight home tonight” after a long day at work and all I want is to snuggle in bed. I might even say “This is home !” if I ever go back to cities I fell in love with.
I once used to call my work place “home”, because it felt better than coming back to my tiny room in a shared house with 10 people I didn’t know at all.
So yeah, home can be different places at the same time, depending on what you mean when you talk about it.
But at the end of the day, no matter where you are geographically and in life, Home is where you are here for yourself. And it’s everywhere. Home is when you take care of yourself, and when you listen to what you love. You passions, your hobbies, your goals. The cities you liked, the places you visited, the music you love listening to. The Art you like creating, the people you love. And, most importantly, yourself.
Of course it doesn’t mean you don’t need a house. Or to live in a place you like. But loving all of the above adds a sense of home to your everyday life. It might sound cliché, but trust me, feeling home in yourself is definitely worth the try.
– Home is Where The Heart Is –
– You Are Your Home Too –
Just make sure you don’t forget about yourself. Home is where the heart is, but if your heart gets broken, be here for yourself. As much as a house is unsure, because we tend to move a lot in the matter of a lifetime, or because a house can get old and damaged; home can always change too.
So make sure you are happy with your own self being a potential “home” to yourself. The walls will shake sometimes, get damaged too, but they will grow stronger every time, and protect you even more. You are your most certain Home forever.
— After all we’re living in this Universe. And no matter where on Earth (or somewhere else 😉 ?), we will forever be part of the Universe, which means anywhere can be Home. Anywhere you want it to be. And that’s the magic of Life. —
—What About You ? Where is Home to you ? —
Here is my Vlog Channel, if you fancy a little bit of traveling with me !
Special Thanks to my friend Lucie (her blog) for taking these
really inspiring pictures of me during our trip to Brighton !